People Pleasing Over Christmas: Some tips
The festive season, often painted as a time of joy and togetherness, can unexpectedly become a source of stress and anxiety for many. Feeling anxious and stressed is particularly true for those who have experienced trauma. Mindful Synergi has some tips.
When we encounter traumatic events, our bodies and minds react in ways designed to protect us. This is known as a trauma response, a natural mechanism our brains employ to handle overwhelming stress. These responses often manifest in four primary ways:
Fight: Feeling angry, defensive, or irritable.
Flight: Wanting to escape, avoid, or withdraw.
Freeze: Feeling numb, stuck, or unable to make decisions.
Fawn: Trying to please others to avoid conflict or gain approval.
While these reactions are inherent survival mechanisms, their persistence long after the traumatic event can significantly impact our daily lives. The key to healing lies in understanding and addressing these responses to regain a sense of safety and control.
People Pleasing: A Common Trauma Response
The “fawn” response, characterised by a strong desire to please others, is a typical trauma response that can intensify during the holidays. When we prioritise the needs and expectations of others, often at the expense of our own, we may be subconsciously trying to avoid conflict or seek validation.
This behaviour can lead to resentment, burnout, and a diminished sense of self. It is essential to recognise that people-pleasing is not a sign of weakness but rather a coping mechanism developed in response to past experiences.
Healing and Self-Care
If you recognise these patterns in yourself, remember that you are not alone. Healing is possible, and support is readily available. Here are some strategies to help you navigate the holiday season mindfully:
Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say “no” to requests that don’t align with your needs or values.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-criticism.
Prioritises Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy or counselling to address underlying trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
By understanding the root causes of people-pleasing and implementing self-care practices, you can experience a more peaceful and joyful holiday season.
Remember, your well-being is paramount, and it’s okay to prioritise your needs – Mindful Synergi is able to help you in 2025, click here for more info.
